Moon in the Dragon's Cell
by MinervaEvenstar
Summary: Luna finds out Draco is going to be put on trial for being a Death Eater and testifies on his behalf because, when she was imprisoned in Malfoy Manor, Draco was also a prisoner in his own home and they took comfort from each other in more ways than one. Canon-compliant


**Title:** Moon in the Dragon's Cell

**Summary:** Luna finds out Draco is going to be put on trial for being a Death Eater and testifies on his behalf because, when she was imprisoned in Malfoy Manor, Draco was also a prisoner in his own home and they took comfort from each other in more ways than one. Canon-compliant Draco/Luna

**Disclaimer:** The characters were invented by Rowling and I make no money for this work of fan fiction.

**Warnings:** Consensual, non-penetrative heterosexual sex between characters over the age of consent. Inappropriate wordplay and humor ruins 'the mood' for readers craving a serious story.

**Dedication:** This fic was written by me as a gift for the hosts of the hilarious Fangasm Podcast (formerly named Potterotica Podcast). I included my favorite puns/jokes from the show, making this fic a lighthearted piece despite what the darkness of the primary setting (dungeon of gothic mansion during wartime) suggests.

**Main Pairing:** Draco Malfoy/Luna Lovegood - The title indicates Luna (moon) and Draco (dragon).

**Moon in the Dragon's Cell**

Luna awoke sweating with a dampness between her thighs. She had dreamt of him again; the memory of his soft lips and nimble fingers still vivid in her mind. She didn't particularly want to date him, as he would never share her interests and priorities, but she wouldn't pretend she didn't miss his touch. The young man was a star within her Groin-gotts Wank Bank, and not only because he was named after a constellation. With a wistful sigh, Luna reached for her wand and Charmed it to a rhythmic vibration before sticking it between her legs to relieve the ache.

By the time Luna was scheduled to go to The Burrow, she felt satisfied and calm. She had never been invited to have dinner at a friend's home before and was looking forward to it.

Ginny, George, Ron, and Hermione were already there when she arrived. Luna offered to help them fold the napkins in a way which repelled Wrackspurts.

"Sure, thanks, Luna!" George grinned as he accepted her assistance. "We've got a real problem with those in this house."

Luna nodded solemnly. "You really do."

Hermione tried to hide an eye-roll at that, but the skepticism of others didn't bother the blonde, as she knew people only became aware of truths in life at their own pace when they were ready. For example, it had taken Luna years to realize her former-favorite singer of song parodies, Allie Skank-O-Witch, was committing the crime of putting fairies inside her lute to get the instrument to produce beautiful sounds. Luna had written an article exposing the abhorrence in _The Quibbler_, though most of the public refused to believe it.

Harry arrived as the Ravenclaw finished folding the fabric into hexagonal shapes. Immediately, Luna discerned Harry was preoccupied. Hermione noticed as well.

"What's wrong?" the brunette questioned. "Is it the trials?" Now that Voldemort was defeated, all of the Death Eaters who had served him were being put on trial individually so the Wizengamot could determine the sentence for each one. Unsurprisingly, Harry was testifying as a witness in court for many of these.

"No, it's furniture," Harry lamented.

Ron looked confused, but Luna understood: "Feng Shui is important." People could catch the Parmesan Flu if they didn't monitor the placement of décor in their homes.

Harry was living in Grimmauld Place since the war ended and - though most of the Dark Artifacts had previously been cleaned out by the Order of the Phoenix - gothic antiques weren't to Harry's tastes. "I know Sirius would suggest burning everything," explained Harry, "but that seems wasteful since a lot of it is valuable and someone will want it even if I don't." Harry had grown up with little and wasn't inclined to waste. He had never explicitly told Luna this; she could tell by his gratitude anytime he received gifts.

"Sell them at an auction and use the money to buy furniture you like," suggested the practical Hermione.

"Do we have to talk about furniture?" Ron complained. "Ever since Harry told us about Slughorn turning into a chair, I've had nightmares that whatever I sit on is a person in disguise." The others would have accused Ron of paranoia if he hadn't in fact had a pet rat which had been a wizard incognito. However, that didn't mean they were above teasing him.

"Maybe Slughorn is just trying to get some action, hoping someone will lay on him and have a wank or shag." George wiggled his eyebrows suggestively from his place on the plush rug on the floor. "He could be here right now," George trailed fingers over the carpet, "as Rughorn."

Ron groaned in disgust at both the implication and the pun, and turned to Hermione. "Remind me to cast spells at my bed from now on just to be sure I'm not sleeping on some old fat bloke."

Hermione blushed at the suggestion that she would be around Ron when he was near his bed. Rather than deny it, however, she patted the knuckles of his hand. "I will protect you from perverted furnishings." If Hermione was into knuckle play, then Luna wasn't going to kink-shame her.

Harry veered the subject away from his best friends' blossoming love life before Ron's reply could make things awkward. "If Slughorn did that, he probably had the most luck as furniture in the Slytherin common room since he'd know the password to get in there to check on students from his House."

"I don't want to imagine any Slytherins getting dirty." Ron shuddered in revulsion.

"I might," Ginny piped up. Ron looked horrified at his sister having an interest in anything sexual. Luna suppressed a giggle at the thought of how Ron might react if he knew about her and Ginny doing 'missionary' work together at Hogwarts.

Curious, Hermione asked Ginny, "Who would you watch together?"

"Hmm." Ginny tapped her lip thoughtfully. The redhead had a very attractive mouth and Luna knew from experience Ginny knew how to use it. "Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass are both hot."

"No, the Greengrasses have poor circulation, so they actually have a lower body temperature than most people," murmured Luna placidly, recalling the cool touch of the hands of Astoria Greengrass, one of her dormmates at Hogwarts, with a contented hum.

"All Slytherins are cold berks," declared Ron. "The ones I'd LEAST like to see would be Parkinson and Malfoy." Ron went on to imitate Pansy's snobbish, nasally tones: "Oh, Draco darling, you can stop by for a Floo-ty Call and play in my joybox anytime."

Harry, George, and Ginny laughed, though Luna couldn't understand why since earning Frequent Floo-er Points was no laughing matter. Luna stared out the window with the faraway expression in her eyes she often had. If any of her friends used Legilimency, they would have seen images of how Draco Malfoy could be very warm indeed when he chose.

"Thank Merlin those two broke up." Hermione sighed in relief. "There's hope Malfoy might eventually become a decent human being since he realized how twisted the Death Eaters were in the end, but that cow never stopped supporting Voldemort or wanting us dead."

Luna avoided pointing out she had heard Pansy was doing well working as a Dr. Room-little. Unlike the Muggle Dr. Doolittle, Pansy soothed the moods of magical houses and talking mirrors instead of animals.

"He's too fit for her as well." The shocked silence in the room informed Harry he'd unintentionally said that aloud. "What?" he demanded. "Don't tell me you lot don't agree Malfoy is better looking than Parkinson?"

George glanced at the awkwardly-quiet Ron and Hermione, and then simpered at Harry. "Sure, mate. Don't worry: I've heard all about your obsession with Malfoy and I fully support you going after him if things with Gin don't work out, or even while you and my sister are together if Ginny is cool with that."

"I don't have an OBSESSION-" Harry began defensively.

Ginny cut him off with a placating hand on his arm. "It's okay, Harry. The mental image of you getting Draco Malfoy to beg for you - and thereafter earning the right to call yourself The Boy Who Shagged a Prat Who Shall Not Be Named whenever he needed to be embarrassed into shutting up - is very hot and hilarious. I'd love to watch that."

Harry gratefully kissed Ginny on the cheek. Luna was glad that - despite the Nargles' malicious intentions to hook up Cho and Harry via mistletoe - Harry had realized the fiery woman currently beside him was much better for him than a Chang Bang.

"It's still MALFOY!" Ron grimaced. "Not only is he a git, but he probably criticizes his lovers the entire time by spouting rubbish, like, 'Your body is fine, but the lighting doesn't flatter you properly and it's turning me off.'"

"Draco is a kind person when he wants to be," Luna remarked.

"Was he nice to you when you were..." Ron trailed off uncomfortably, not wanting to trigger bad memories for their whimsical friend.

"Taken captive?" Luna finished calmly. "Yes, he was."

Harry said, "I'm testifying at his trial tomorrow that he didn't turn me over to Voldemort by pretending he didn't recognize me, and he didn't try to fight me when I took his wand to escape." It was rare for Harry to attempt to convince the court to NOT convict someone, as he usually strove to have Death Eaters condemned to a prison sentence now that Azkaban was guarded by wizards rather than dementors.

"That's generous of you, Harry." Luna smiled.

Harry shrugged modestly. "It's the right thing to do. Draco's guilty of being a bigot and a bully because he was raised poorly. That might warrant a punch to the nose." He winked at Hermione, who smirked at the memory. "It doesn't mean he deserves to be sent to Azkaban. He never killed anyone, after all."

George nodded. "Putting a boy as pretty as Malfoy in prison when he DIDN'T kill anyone? Azka-if! It would too cruel!" He pretended to swoon and faint at the unpleasant thought.

"Do you think it would help if I testified too? I'd be happy to tell the Wizengamot how he tried his best to make me comfortable and keep the other Death Eaters away from me when they took me prisoner," offered Luna.

"It couldn't hurt," answered Hermione.

"Thanks, Luna." Harry beamed at her.

"The ferret hasn't got a clue how lucky he is that you two want to help him," Ron muttered, but didn't object since what they said about Draco was true.

"Have you found any more of Sirius' sex toys?" George asked Harry as he 'awakened' from his mock-faint in an effort to steer the conversation towards more lighthearted topics.

Harry put his face in his hands and mumbled through his fingers, "Quit reminding me about that." He missed his godfathers fiercely and wouldn't have minded finding some keepsakes if they were less...kinky. Harry loved Sirius and Remus, but he REALLY didn't want to know the Rem-jobs they had gotten up to in private.

Luna Lovegood stared out the window and let the words wash over her, enjoying being included. She would never tell them, however, exactly how kind Draco had been to her. That was a secret she would keep to herself because she knew Draco would want what happened in the dungeon of Malfoy Manor to stay in the dungeon.

*** Brinkus to Flashback to the Past ***

Ollivander was an old man, and being in a damp stone prison without furniture was hurting his bones. Luna considered requesting more comfortable accommodations for him from the Death Eaters that brought them food once per day, but the masks they wore didn't help her figure out which of their captors might be the most compassionate or approachable. At least the few meals they received were fair - such as chicken and vegetables seasoned with marjoram and served with pumpkin juice - because the Death Eaters wanted them kept in decent health...for now.

Rubbing Ollivander's shoulders, which were stooped with age and pain, Luna suggested, "Think warm thoughts."

"Minerva," he murmured wistfully.

"Professor McGonagall?" Luna inquired curiously.

"Mmm-hmm." He nodded. "I loved that witch, but she didn't want to settle down with me, which is just as well since I would have made a terrible husband. Terrible, yes, for you see I am married to my craft."

"There are many forms of love," Luna agreed.

They sat in silence for a while until Ollivander fell asleep. Luna lay him down on the floor using his folded blanket for a pillow and covering him with her own blanket. She could handle the dankness of the cell better than he could and doubted she would be able to sleep much anyway. Taking care of the elderly wandmaker was a welcome distraction. Now, she had only her worry for her father to keep her company.

The heavy door to the dungeon creaked open and Luna heard an unfamiliar tread come down the steps. There were only two torches which flickered dully and never went out, but Luna's eyes had long since adjusted to the dark and she easily saw the white-blond hair of Draco Malfoy. His eyes locked with hers and he looked almost frightened as he placed a silver tray laden with food onto the floor and turned as if to go back upstairs.

"Wait." Her wispy voice caused him to pause, though he didn't face her. "Thank you for the meal. Won't you share it with me?"

"Why would you want ME here? My side took you from your home to ensure your dad would stop publishing articles against the Dark Lord." He aimed to sound suspicious and cold, but Draco Malfoy was a dreadful actor by Luna's estimation. It was obvious he was sympathetic to her situation and feared being rejected due to others' crimes.

"I don't believe in sides," Luna told him frankly. "I only believe in what is true. What is true is you played no part in me being taken hostage. What is true is I could use company and you need extra food as much as I do." Draco hesitantly turned around as Luna added, "You're not able to eat much when strangers presume to invade your home and share your table, are you?" He was painfully thin, making his angular aristocratic features stand out more than usual.

"No," Draco admitted, "especially not when one of them is a snake that eats people."

"Eat with me, then. I promise I'm not hiding any carnivorous pets upon my person." Luna stood, spread out her arms, and spun to provide evidence for her claim.

Draco took the opportunity to look her body up and down, and the heat of his gaze made her feel warmer than she had since being thrown into this underground chamber. He resisted asking the obvious 'Mind if I check?' and instead replied politely, "Thank you. I would be delighted."

The two sat down to share the edibles he had brought. There were two of everything, indicating Draco originally intended Ollivander to share with Luna. The young heir promised to bring more food for the old wandmaker later and even cast _Muffiato_ so the noise of their shared conversation would not awaken the older gentleman.

Draco waved his wand at a fork to Transfigure it into a violin. Then, he Charmed the instrument to play a beautiful melody, which began slow and mournful until it gradually became optimistic. Luna was impressed by the magic and wondered if Draco had enchanted playlists for every occasion.

Filling their goblets with pumpkin juice, Luna lifted hers in a toast. "To a future brighter than our dark present."

"To a brighter future," Draco concurred, clinking their goblets. "I'm glad you didn't offer a toast with food. It always feels odd and annoying when people do 'cheers' with food instead of drinks."

"There are so many serious issues going on in the world, and you would let such a small thing bother you?" Luna's question was without judgement.

"There's no excuse for lacking class and disrespecting traditions," he declared imperiously.

"I agree with you about the importance of manners, but I'm afraid I feel differently on the matter of tradition. People creatively using modified ideas to switch things up with the resources they have strikes me as innovative."

There was a pause. "If we're talking 'big picture' stuff, then I might agree." It was the closest Luna had ever heard him come to admitting the traditional pureblood values with which he'd been raised could be erroneous. "But toasting with food IF there are glasses available is just tacky."

Luna laughed kindly at his stubbornness. "You're entitled to your opinion. Just don't let contempt be your default setting. You being here now is proof you are better than that."

Not knowing how to respond to her positive remark regarding his character, he queried, "What does a bright future look like to you?"

"I'd really like magical creatures to be treated with more respect. Maybe if there were laws in place to help them, Yogi and Smokey would not have been separated as cubs."

"Who?" Draco was bewildered.

"They're half-brothers from a species of talking bears."

"I see." He didn't see. That was okay. Most people didn't fully understand or believe what she and her father said. At least Draco wasn't making fun of her.

"What about you?" Luna asked. "What is your ideal future?"

The Slytherin seriously considered the question. "I want my family to be happy and safe. It might sound selfish to prioritize my family over the rest of the world, but it's true."

"It isn't selfish to care about the ones you love. I wouldn't be here if my dad didn't love me." Luna smiled. "I noticed you said 'happy and safe' instead of 'rich and powerful.'"

Draco nodded. "I'm figuring out what's truly important." He must have decided the conversation was too heavy because he added, "Like good photography. Have you seen the rubbish _The Daily Prophet_ has been printing lately? Disgracefully unflattering angles."

Despite this criticism falling under Draco's contempt setting, Luna knew it was meant in jest and giggled. Luna was not accustomed to people laughing with her rather than at her and it made a nice change. Plus, her appreciation of his wit made Draco smile so he looked more approachable and less stressed.

They talked for a while longer about safer topics, like which Beedle the Bard stories had been their favorites growing up, before Draco had to leave lest his absence be noted.

He continued to visit her every evening during holiday break and the two formed an unlikely – not precisely 'friendship,' but bond - as they continued to talk.

One night after Ollivander had fallen asleep, Draco padded into Luna's cell wearing a plush, monogrammed bathrobe over tailored pajama bottoms and matching socks. It was cold, so sleeping in socks - or at least wearing them into the dank dungeon - was pragmatic. The sliver of exposed chest indicated Draco was not wearing a shirt beneath the robe.

Not one to feel self-conscious about speaking her mind, Luna stated, "I always noticed you and thought you were exceptionally handsome. Misguided, but handsome."

"Thank you." Draco looked surprised and guilty accepting the compliment.

"It's okay you didn't notice me," Luna reassured, sensing the source of his discomfort with characteristic perceptiveness. "I know we're not in the same House or year."

"Well, I'm noticing you now."

"And what do you see?"

"I see a lovely person who isn't being treated as she deserves."

Knowing either of them could be killed at any moment, Luna decided to take a risk by stepping into Draco's personal space and whispering, "How do I deserve to be treated, Draco?"

He stroked her cheek softly and leaned closer, darting a glance from her lips to her eyes to ask permission. She gave consent by tilting her head to the side and shutting her eyelids. He closed the minute distance between them and she felt his warm, soft lips against hers. She returned the pressure and slid fingers into the silky strands of his hair. He opened his mouth to grunt in approval and she took the chance to stroke his hot tongue briefly with her own before pulling back with a dreamy simper.

"That was nice. Much nicer than the first time I kissed someone shoeless," Luna discovered with interest.

"When was the first time?"

"Remember when the Beauxbatons students stayed in Ravenclaw tower for the Triwizard Tournament?"

"Of course. Durmstrang stayed in the dungeons with us Slytherins and stole the best fireside seats," Draco complained. Luna was oddly comforted how - for a short moment - he looked like his petulant childhood self. Swiftly, it was replaced by the cautious young man he had become. "None of them made a move on you, I hope? All of the visiting students were seventeen and you would have only been thirteen at the time."

"No. The Champions had the person most precious to them put in Black Lake for The Second Task." Draco nodded at Luna's words, remembering. "Fleur Delacleur's person was her younger sister, Gabrielle."

"THAT is who you kissed? Gabrielle is part veela. I'm impressed."

"Well, she kissed me after having some Irish firewhiskey one of the older students smuggled in. It was messy and awkward because I didn't know her."

"Ze French cannot 'andle our liquors and vines." Draco's poor imitation of a French accent was so unexpected given the situation and his proper upbringing that Luna laughed, a fairy-like sound. "Have you ever gone further than kissing?" he asked, returning to his customary posh English tone.

"I shouldn't - What's the phrase? - snog and tell. The girls I was with were looking for comfort. I wouldn't betray their trust by gossiping about our experiences." Luna remembered the musical cries of her Ravenclaw dormmate, Astoria Greengrass, and the cinnamon flavor of Gryffindor Ginny Weasley. Astoria had crawled into Luna's bed after _The Prophet_ acknowledged Voldemort's return, terrified for the safety of her sister Daphne in the Slytherin dungeons. The Greengrasses were purebloods, but they opposed the idea of pureblood supremacy. Ginny and Luna had hidden from the Carrows in an unused classroom a few weeks ago and the redhead confessed she missed Harry fiercely after "he dumped me 'for my safety,' like some noble idiot, before buggering off with Ron and Hermione on some mission Merlin-knows-where." Luna was a kind soul who was glad to give comfort where she could. It pleased her to help others forget their troubles for a brief while. She could use such a thing herself now and wondered if Draco would be willing to assist her.

"Do you fancy men at all?" Draco's interest was a promising sign.

"I kissed you," Luna said as if that explained everything.

"That doesn't mean you would like intimacy with a man." His point was valid and it was respectful for him to avoid presumption.

"I have no experience with male anatomy, but I think I might enjoy it since I care about hearts rather than parts," answered Luna shamelessly. "Just like you do."

"Me?" Draco asked, aghast.

Sensing the cause of his distress, she promised, "I won't tell anyone you enjoy riling Harry up just so you can see the fire in his green eyes and mad-sturbate - that's the vampires' term for crazed angry masturbating - to thoughts of getting intimate with him." It was obvious Draco wanted to have a Hard-to-Hard with Harry. Luna accepted her pansexuality easily, but realized sexual identity could be more difficult for others. Draco was already questioning his bigoted upbringing now that genocidal maniacs were in his home; it might be too much for him to have a sexuality crisis on top of it.

(Luna wasn't to know Draco had already been the middle of the 'bobsled' between Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson one night to celebrate a Quidditch victory for Slytherin and was merely hesitant at confessing the Potter aspect of his proclivities.)

"I don't want Saint Potter," he sneered in predictable denial. "His pubic hair is probably shaped like a lightning bolt too."

"I see you have imagined him naked," noted Luna serenely. Draco tried to scoff, but couldn't hide the color in his cheeks. "You don't have to talk to me about it if you don't want to, but it might be a relief to get it off your chest."

"I hate Harry Potter," asserted Draco. "However," he glanced about as if people might be listening through the _Muffiato_ Charm, "I can admit he's a good flier and I was relieved when he freed my father's house elf. I hated listening to Dobby's screams of pain. Wizards are superior to elves, of course, but that doesn't mean we have the right to abuse them. Just like..." He moved closer and breathed into her ear so no one else could hear him even if they were inches away. "It's wrong to torture and kill Muggles just because we can."

Draco might still harbor delusions of pureblood wizards being above others, but - after a lifetime of brainwashing - for him to realize on his own that mistreating those he was taught to view as inferior was immoral was excellent progress. She was confident one day in the near future Draco would free himself from prejudice altogether. As a Ravenclaw, Luna found the process of enlightenment beautiful to witness.

"Draco, would you like to kiss me again?" Luna offered.

"I..." His gaze flicked to her lips before he remorsefully shook his head. "It might be un-Slytherin of me, but I wouldn't feel right taking advantage of the power-imbalance in our situation."

"You're almost as much of a prisoner as I am. In fact, I would rather be physically confined to a cell as my mind wandered freely than have freedom to move about the entire house while having to conceal my thoughts." She took his hand and assured him, "I know you're suffering too. I don't have Cock-holm Syndrome or whatever Muggles call it. I know I like you and find you attractive."

"I like you as well, and you are very pretty, but we shouldn't start something we can't finish. Even if we both get out of here, there is no future for us."

"We aren't compatible long-term," Luna agreed, "but I don't want happily-ever-after. A slightly-less-horrible-right-now would do wonders for my morale."

"Mine too," Draco admitted. "It would still make me feel better to put us on more equal ground." He pulled a black cloth the size and shape of a handkerchief from his pocket. "Would you blindfold me with this?"

"If you like." Luna folded the silky fabric and tied it snugly around his head before rejoining their hands to pull him close. "So?"

In answer, Draco found her mouth again. She lost herself in him. The decadent taste of magic on his tongue. The warm touch of his hand on her neck. The fresh scent of his hair. Luna was not vain, though she did regret for a moment that she probably didn't smell as clean as he did given she hadn't been allowed to leave the dungeons to bathe since she arrived. Draco had periodically conjured hot water in bowls for her and Ollivander to use to rub themselves free of grime. However, there was no substitute for the arcane soap she favored, which left her skin with a perfume and flavor similar to sugar. The way Draco's hands slid to her slender hips to pull her tighter against his leanly-muscled body as he sucked lightly on her neck indicated no complaints about her current state.

She pushed him down to straddle his lap with the intent of bringing Draco as much satisfaction as possible. Holding onto his shoulders, she rolled her hips downwards in a rhythm until she felt him harden through his nightclothes. He was kissing her lips again - more desperately now - while he tried to thrust up against her to increase friction. Luna trailed faint nips along his jaw, enjoying the stubble there. The tiny hairs were too pale to see, but she could feel them.

Once she reached his ear, she whispered, "Is it okay if I put my hands on you to bring you to climax?"

"I would be much obliged, Miss Lovegood." Luna giggled at Draco's attempt to maintain his formal accent when his voice was breathless and his hands were squeezing her bum deliciously through her clothing.

She untied his robe and pushed it from his shoulders. It pooled on the floor and they sat down on its fluffy softness. Draco's body was as pale as Luna's, though his form was taller and broader. The Dark Mark on his arm marred his otherwise perfect skin, but Luna did not let it concern her. She was more interested in unbuttoning his pajamas to free his erection. Luna had never seen one up close before, though she knew Draco must be more impressive than Roger Davies, who was wont to say, "It's not the size of the prize. It's the lack of apology when you ejaculate."

Her expectations were certainly not disappointed: Weeping with precome, the penis stood against the taut muscles of Draco's abdomen and looked quite happy to see her. It was definitely a Meat Cute. She was fascinated by how much darker the flesh of his manhood was compared the fairness of his stomach. Luna wrapped her fingers around it and stroked experimentally. At Draco's enamored moan, Luna continued her ministrations, relishing the feel of it pulsing in her hand and Draco's wanton huffs against her cheek.

"It's interesting how the texture remains soft even when it becomes hard and rigid. I quite like it," Luna decided.

The closest thing to a smirk Draco had managed in months crossed his face, but any smart remark he would have made at Luna's candid declaration was lost as Luna's thumb circled the head of his cock and he released his Chamber of Semen to coat her hand and his stomach. She hadn't thought it was possible - after being taken from her home during Hogwarts' holiday break and imprisoned underground in a windowless cell - for her to have a white Christmas.

"Do you mind if I take the blindfold off?" His speech was slow with satiation.

"Of course not. You're the one who wanted to wear it." She traced patterns in his natural fluids like she was trying to make an image out of a Jizz-saw Puzzle. He watched in fascination when she licked her fingers to analyze the taste thoughtfully.

"Dreadful, isn't it?" Draco asked sympathetically.

"You would know." It wasn't a question.

"I can neither confirm nor deny your claims." Draco aptly spoke like someone raised around politics, yet politely waved his wand to Vanish the stickiness.

"I think tasting yourself so you know what your lovers' experience is courteous," Luna assured him.

"A courteous gentleman never leaves a beautiful lady with a Clit Hanger." Draco's offer was charming, especially to Luna, who had never been on the receiving end of flirtation. She sidled off of his lap to lay against the floor with her legs spread open in invitation. He didn't take it. Instead, he chose to remove her top.

Never one to wear uncomfortable brassieres, Luna's small rounded breasts were thus immediately bared to the cool air. Draco wasted no time in warming her quivering figure with his mouth on her left breast and his hand on her right. Aristocratic purebloods were obviously trained in the importance of equal nipple play. Luna whimpered and threaded fingers through Draco's soft hair to demonstrate her appreciation. He hummed in smug acknowledgement, which caused delicious vibrations to pass into Luna. His free hand busied itself with removing the remainder of her clothes. She rolled slender hips upwards and skated fingernails along his back, savoring the sensations of his naked body against hers.

When the pleasure built so high she needed release, she wriggled beneath him. "Draco," she murmured, "if I don't get off soon, then I will worse off than a Blibbering Humdinger."

He lifted his head from the marks he had sucked into her fair skin to smirk in satisfaction at the impact he was having. "How do you want me to please you?"

Possibilities flitted through Luna's mind. Even if he were still erect, she would not have wanted him inside of her because they didn't have Contraception Potion and penetration was supposed to hurt the first time. Luna had enough discomfort being imprisoned; she didn't need the vaginal equivalent of stepping on a Muggle Lego on top of it. He had shown himself to be skilled with his mouth, though she wanted to kiss him again, which would leave his tongue too occupied to explore her nether region. His hand on her womanhood would be sufficient, but Luna had a better idea.

"Could you Charm your wand to vibrate?" Death Eaters had confiscated Luna's wand upon abducting her in order to send it home with a letter explaining they had taken her to ensure _The Quibbler's_ silence.

Obligingly, Draco searched through his robe on the floor until he found the object she requested. "What's the spell?" Luna was impressed he was ready to learn a new enchantment and didn't suffer from the foolish misconception that women should need nothing other than a man's touch to achieve orgasm. It was unsurprising Draco didn't already know the incantation. Luna herself had found it outside of the Hogwarts' curriculum in _Witches' Guide to Adolescence_, a book given to her by Xenophilus Lovegood at the onset of puberty because – as a single father who'd grown up without sisters – he hadn't known the best way to explain to Luna the changes she would experience.

"Thrust your wand forward and say _Tremefacio_!" she directed. His first attempt was effective and she beamed at his magical prowess. "If you want it to shake more, then move your wand in clockwise circles. To make it less intense, move your wand in counterclockwise circles." Draco successfully tested out her instructions. The speculative expression on his face indicated he would try the spell on partners in the future, or maybe even use it on himself. Casting the well-known spell _Lubos Maximus_ on his back entrance before inserting the wand would make it safe for him to try. She was glad to have shared this knowledge with him, but was definitely eager to orgasm into oblivion at present. "Please?" She gestured to her wetness imploringly.

Draco set his wand to a low setting. "Tell me if something doesn't feel good."

"I will," she promised and mewled happily when the arcane object touched her bud. It felt different from when she did it to herself, spicier, as if his wand and magic had a zest her own placid powers lacked.

"Try to be quiet," he teased. "Unlike Hogwarts, there's no poltergeist around here to blame unexplained noises on if your sounds break through the Charm." Peeves may have annoyed the younger students, but older, sexually-active wizards were grateful to have a scape-ghost.

"Kiss me silent, then," Luna suggested. He readily did so and his kisses grew deeper as he gradually rotated the wand to increase the strength of the stimulation at her center. Glorious tingling burned inside of her until the explosion hit and she keened. Draco greedily swallowed her sounds and held her trembling body close while she rode out her bliss.

"Thank you. That was excellent," she gasped once coherency returned.

Draco preened at her praise and she couldn't fault him for it. He had proven himself to be a considerate and talented lover. "I could be excellent again, Lovegood," he offered.

"Maybe you'll have the chance to show me."

They took solace from each other a few more times before Harry and his friends rescued her and Ollivander. If Luna hadn't already been able to see Threstrals, she surely would have gained the ability after repeatedly watching Draco Malfoy murder her vagina in a good way.

*** Dinkus to Return to the Present ***

The friends' visit at The Borrow was interrupted by tapping on the window. George recognized the bird and eagerly leapt up to allow it inside. He appeared disappointed when it flew to Ginny instead of him. Ginny opened the letter attached to the owl's abnormally LONG leg.

"That letter is from Angelina Johnson," Harry noted.

"How do you know that?" Hermione demanded; Harry knowing something she did not was a rare phenomenon.

Harry shrugged uncertainly, thus Luna clarified, "Harry is into pen pals and learned to recognize people by their handwriting." She didn't know much about Harry's life with the Dursleys, but it made him crave written contact from comrades. Whenever he was sent correspondence, he stuck it in a plothole to reread again later.

Hermione nodded in acceptance of this explanation.

"I bet attending Magical Clown School would cheer you up about Angelina not yet replying to your last letter," Ron teased George since the joke-shop owner often jested about running away to do such a thing to their mother's dismay.

"Hmm, learning how to make enchanted balloon animals might impress her," George agreed.

"Just don't impress her too much or she might get Ginger-vitus," cautioned Luna.

"What's that?" Ron asked in concern.

"Becoming so sexually frustrated by a redhead you brush your teeth until your gums bleed," Luna informed distantly.

"That isn't a real illness!" insisted Hermione.

Before the two women could bicker further, Ginny told Hermione excitedly, "Angelina is inviting us out for a Girls' Night at Howlers, a club rated H for Horny, to let loose after the stress of the war." Turning to Luna, she added, "I'm sure you would be welcome too. Angelina probably didn't know you would be here." It honestly didn't sound like something Luna would find 'fun,' but she might regard it as 'interesting,' so she agreed to give it a chance. After all, while Luna was not one for games, she would have played Quidditch, Pin the Tail on the Phoenix, or Wango if anyone ever bothered to invite her. She was hardly going to turn down a social invitation now that she had one. Ginny squealed in victory at Luna's assent.

"Is 'horny' an American term?" wondered Ron.

"I think it means 'aroused,'" said Harry. "I heard it used on a documentary my cousin Dudley watched about the pop singer, Britney Spears, while he played with his puppets." Harry shuddered. Luna wondered if his fright had anything to do with Voldemort also listening to music by Britney Spears and decided it was best not to pry into any triggering memories Harry Potter might possess if he didn't want to share them.

"If the girls are going out, then we could have a Blokes' Night," suggested Ron. "Let's invite Bill."

"Just not his wife because Phlegm's real French name is too hard to pronounce." Ginny still was not the biggest fan of her sister-in-law.

Ron rolled his eyes. "'Course we wouldn't invite her, Gin. She's not a bloke."

"We could invite Jason," added George.

"Who?" everyone except Luna asked. Jason was a disembodied pixie and Luna hadn't thought anyone else could hear his voice. Perhaps George's missing ear had gone Beyond the Veil to whichever dimension housed Jason's body and that was why the Gryffindor Beater now knew of him?

Rather than address this delicate scenario in mixed company, Luna recommended to the group at large, "You could see if Neville, Dean, and Seamus are up to a Blokes' Night." Neville related to her loneliness and she knew the invitation would mean a great deal to him.

"Neville would be a good addition, but Seamus and Dean will only make it if they can manage to leave the bedroom!" laughed Ginny.

"What?" Ron gasped as he absorbed her meaning. "I lived with them for years and - Quidditch notwithstanding - they seemed more interested in cauldrons than broomsticks. Dean even dated you for Merlin's sake!"

"There is such a thing as questioning and bisexual," Hermione pointed out before Ginny could reply, "and the threat of death during wartime gave a lot of people the courage to come out and try new things." She and her two best friends blushed as she said this and Luna wondered if anything noteworthy passed between the Golden Trio during their trip to destroy Horcruxes, but knew it would be rude to pry.

"I'm happy for them." Harry smiled and asked Ginny, "How did you find out?"

"I saw Dean doing the Walk of Seamus: He arrived at our Quidditch practice in the clothes he'd worn the previous day and let it slip he'd spent the night with Seamus reading _Going from Puss-imist to Cock-timist_ when I teased him about it." Ginny grinned at the others' reactions; they were delighted and shocked their friends read content by Dansy Snapman, a wizard famous for writing erotic books with animated illustrations.

They continued to share amusing anecdotes until it was time for the ladies to meet Angelina while the gentlemen went to see a live performance of the wizarding drama _Dawson's Black Lake_ to commemorate their Bloke's Night.

"Those underpants cannot be comfortable for male strippers," noted Luna as they watched provocative dancing and drank smoking beverages. The titillating setting wasn't one Luna would have chosen, but it was proving to be a fascinating lesson in human behavior. Angelina drunkenly shrieked "GIRLS' NIGHT" and flung sickles at the dancers while Hermione blushed and fidgeted in her seat.

"Don't call them that," Ginny admonished. "It's not a sexy word."

"Strippers?" Luna cocked her head bemusedly and a frick-ton of blonde hair cascaded over her shoulder.

"No. UNDAPANTS."

Luna accepted Ginny's critique, but didn't allow it to bother her. Being 'sexy' wasn't really Luna's priority.

It was forbidden to snap photographs of the performers, however, there was no policy against Ginny levitating her camera and rotating it in midair so it could capture images of the guffawing girls taking shots. Luna didn't participate in magical social media, though she speculated the picture of firewhiskey coming out of Angelina's nose would not be shared with Augusta Longbottom on Neville's InstaGramma.

As the night wore on, Luna and Hermione wound up remaining mostly sober, hence they Apparated their more intoxicated cohorts home ere retiring to bed themselves.

The testimonials at the trial of Draco Malfoy the next day resulted in him being given the lenient sentence of community service. Feeling relief that justice had been done, Luna caught up with Draco in the Ministry's atrium.

"Thanks for standing up for me." Draco's body language was stiff and awkward, for he was not accustomed to displaying gratitude. Nonetheless, he was sincere, which was what Luna valued. "I hope you didn't do it just because you felt obligated since we spent time…together."

"No. You genuinely are a good person. I wish you luck in life." Draco relaxed at Luna's easy benevolence. "Besides, it was the fair thing to do since there isn't a D. D. L."

He raised a perplexed eyebrow. "A what?"

"A Draco Defense League. There's an R. D. L. - a Ron Defense League - which is made up of Ronlings who support Rons everywhere. My dad met a real Ronling named Lyndsay and afterwards published an article in _The Quibbler _about the R. D. L_. _However, I suspect the only Ron we know doesn't realize Ronlings exist because he doesn't read the magazine…or anything else if he can avoid it." Ron Weasley was the best at Not-Reading-While-Others-Read.

A long pause went on between them before Draco drawled, "I see."

"You don't see. You're just being polite. It's okay; I don't mind that you haven't heard of it. I just care we've both come out of this all right." She meant it.

"I see." This time, he meant it too, which warmed Luna inside.

"Do you have any plans for the future now that safety for you and your mother is assured?"

Hesitantly, he confided he might do something with art, such as writing or photography, under a pseudonym. "How about you?"

"I'd like to journey to find a Crumple-Horned Snorkack."

"I hope you find whatever you seek. You deserve it."

"That's nice of you to say." Luna smiled at the sentiment and reference to their shared triste. "Everything will work out if we keep our wands up."


End file.
